#2 Dream
Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?
Although the sign said Toys R Us, I came to find out that I actually purchased the monkey from PetSmart. I remember the moment I saw the adorable bundle of fur. The eyes were so pleading and the face so irresistible as its tiny head tilted from side to side. It would be a great pet the sales associate said reassuringly behind me. I thought the same and I took it home.
Monkeys do not make great pets. First, there was the biting – lots of biting. I feared I would have to get special vaccinations as this demonic monkey from hell would bite my fingers, feet and had I not swatted it away, my face. The monkey had to go. What was I thinking? I never considered where the animal would defecate but I soon learned that once let loose in my house, that would be anywhere it so desired. The favorite place was on the rug near the door in the attempt for guests to step in it and drag it through the house. These attempts were successful.
I had to return the monkey. I could not find my receipt to PetSmart. I needed it because the store’s phone number was printed on the receipt. I could not find it. I tried to find a phone book but alas, Pet Smart’s number was not listed. I called information, they put me through. I was put on eternal hold. I am not going to be able to return this monkey. This is what I was thinking as I turned around and saw it destroying all of the throw pillows on the couch. This primate from hell was ripping through them much as a dog would. It noticed me staring in horror at it. I swear the thing grinned at me. I am never going to get rid of this monkey.